Fired, Again.

DISCLAIMER: My spelling and grammar are usually horrendous. I apologize in advance for the eye sore of mistakes below. I write very much stream of consciousness and hope its not too difficult to follow along!

Well what better way to start a blog than to share with you a low point in my life. On May 29th of this year I was fired for the second time in my short life of a quarter century. Unfortunately, it happened almost exactly two years to date from the first time I got fired and I had kept both jobs for the exact same amount of time. I didn't realize that at first but, God love my mother, she pointed it out. I noticed this later when I found an old draft of my portion of the family newsletter. More on that below.

The first time I was fired, it came as no surprise as both the organization and I knew it was not a good fit for about 6 months before we finally bit the bullet. The second time came as a complete shock. Short version: I was hurrying through my work on that fateful Memorial Day week, did some things I shouldn't have, got caught 15 minutes prior to when I was supposed to leave and was fired about 10 minutes later. My bosses stated that what I had done showed I was not a person of "integrity and character." To say the least that was a big blow to my self-esteem, and the fact that they called my character into question... Well I kind of wish we still had duels over honor but that rant is for another time. 

The first time I was fired, I applied for unemployment and received it. Thank goodness! The second time, I filed for unemployment and was denied due to "gross misconduct" and "wanton disregard for the employer's interests." My brilliant older sister, a lawyer, wrote a letter for me to appeal the decision and today was the appeal hearing. My parents and friends all told me to get mad and buck up but as the non-confrontational person that I am (unless you are family), I went back to being the silent girl who let herself get fired. [Side note: when I feel defensive or uncomfortable, I have three responses - off the charts crazy (again, reserved for family), I smile, or I shut down.] 

I was also told that since I had worked for such a large company someone from the HR department would probably be there for the hearing. But no, I was not so lucky. The two bosses who fired me were the representatives from my employer. Again, I shut down. Thankfully my nightmare of a huge courtroom with strange witnesses staring at me didn't happen. It was a small room with the mediator/judge, my two bosses, me and my moral support: my parents. The employer spoke, I cross examined, I spoke, they cross examined, and the judge asked questions. While I shook like a leaf in a hail storm with a wobbly voice, the judge was a wonderfully nice man and put me more at ease. As the burden of proof was on the employer and I don't feel they adequately proved anything beyond I made a few mistakes. I stayed cool, calm, and collected. 

While I left the courthouse unsure if the judge would rule in my favor, I felt confident that I had done my best to represent myself. And as I lay in bed tonight going over a barely existent budget, looking for a job, and recalling the day's events, I realized I am broke as f*%k but being fired, again, didn't break me. It has made me more determined to find something I love or at least like, rather than working at a big company just so I can say I have a "real job." At almost 26, I probably should know what direction I want my life to take but I have no clue. Money isn't everything and I'm glad I've finally realized it. 

XO, Alli

P.S. That family Christmas letter I mentioned? Each year my dad writes a funny newsletter about the family, including the good, the bad, and especially the ugly and sends it to all of our friends and family for their holiday enjoyment. Occasionally, when Dad is taking too long to write it (usually after Christmas), Mom tells us, the kids, to write our own paragraph. I found my 2013 rough draft a couple weeks ago and decided to start 2015. Rough draft below...