“ Failure is proof that you tried, now go try again.”
Failure is not a word I am comfortable with in relation to myself but I seem to know it really well. Failure seems like rock bottom. I have failed for ten years to lose weight, I have failed at two different jobs, I have failed at not racking up my credit card debt, I have failed to find a job I love or hell even dreams to follow, and saddest of all, I have failed at finding what makes me happy beyond Starbucks and a book.
I turn 26 in two weeks and ten years ago I thought for sure by now I would have the white picket fence, a job I love and I would be married with baby on the way or planning my wedding at the very least. Well, here I am. Single. Broke. Living with a roommate. Fail. Epic Fail. See, I told you failure and I are besties.
The simple truth is that I've never really had to think about what road to take, in the grand scheme of things. Growing up it was get good grades (well, at least a C+ in my case), get a job after school, go to college, work during college, get an internship, graduate college. All so that I could get the fabled "real world job." While I picked my after school and college jobs, and I picked my major (someone else rely should have made that decision for me), everything else wasn't really an option. I went to college because I had to, my parents demanded it, all my friends were doing it. It was what you did coming from a middle class family from my area. No ifs ands or buts.
But now I pay $350+ a month in school loans with nothing to show for it. Sure I have my degree but I haven't done much with it. Handling those bills on top of my massive credit card debt is really what keeps me broke. I have failed at managing a budget. And currently with no job, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Hence my topic today, failure.
I have included the wonderful Thomas Edison quote above because it is currently speaking to me. As I said, I dislike the word failure. It reminds me of all the bad stereotypes my parents warned me I would become if I didn't go to college. People always ask me want to do with my life and unfortunately I don't have a good answer. Just like the Thomas Edison quote so far I've found 10,000 things I don't want to do but I've yet to find the one that I do. Above I mentioned my love of Starbucks and books; my family has always suggested that I make books or movies my professional career. But I like to read books. I like to watch movies. Unfortunately I don't like to critique them in anyway shape or form. I just like to enjoy them, even if they're horrible. However, I've decided I want to open my own bookshop. I know the books are thing of the past in most people's eyes but I think that I could do something with it, make it special, make it mine. Then maybe all these ways that won't work, will finally turn into a success.
Here's to hopin!
Alli
No comments:
Post a Comment